Closing One Volume, Opening the Next

So much news, so many adventures awaiting us in 2013. Where to start? Perhaps with the next beginning, which in my head I keep thinking of as the ending of the middle.

My friend Dave is a professional "finder and teller of stories" (check out www.sparklestories.com). Last summer on his story page he posted a picture of Nanpu Bridge, on the west bank of the Huangpu River in Shanghai, as a generator to continue a story already started in a previous post. I recognized it immediately but it has taken me a while to find where exactly it fits in our life and how to use it to tell our story. This is our middle.

Known for it's minimization of land use, this ramp is known as a wonder in bridge construction.  Mile 2 to 3 of the Shanghai Half Marathon, one mile as the crow flies to Heinz's office on the other side of the river, connecting me to the Bund, The Old Shanghai Tea House, Marks and Spencer and various other attractions in the city, I have come to know it well myself. I remember the first time we drove it, feeling slightly nauseated as we wound around, wondering how often I would have to endure that!  

In December we passed the 2 year anniversary of our arrival in Shanghai. Some days it seems like we just got here. Others it seems as if we have been here forever. (And some days it seems we have been here way too long!) Either way I am still in a bit of disbelief at how quickly time passes and as we make the announcement that our time in China is coming to an end: in April we will relocate to Chiang Mai, Thailand.

Malaysia. China. Thailand. This is our middle. When I was younger I thought the world ended at the edge of Europe. Why would one ever go further than that? I described Asia as somewhere I would visit if someone gave me a trip. Well, 3 years ago someone sort of did. With six-month-old and 3 year old in tow, we packed our bags and headed to Kuala Lumpur for a six month assignment: Volume One. Fifteen months (fellow expats are very familiar with the manner in which the length of these postings grows), a blog site, an elephant ride and a car accident later, we headed for Shanghai: Volume Two. We've had so many challenges, struggles and adventures here, many chronicled in these pages, some scarring my psyche for years to come. Two and a half years later we will head on to Thailand: Volume Three. I think the elephant rides will make nice book ends

I'm an old hand at this expat thing now. In many ways I've mastered the curve of learning to live this life. Yes, each location has a curve of its own to be addressed but as far as the basics go, I feel confident about having developed the tools to make it work. But life in Shanghai is becoming unsustainable, mostly on a financial level. In the next 12 months staying here would probably require compromising on aspects of our daily life and comfort zone on which we simply do not want to compromise. The search for a solution began.

As Heinz's current business responsibilities require full time residence in Asia, the Shanghai conundrum could not be solved with a return to the States. Having lived all over, and having money in 401k's scattered about the globe, he has worked to keep abreast of the condition of the global economy. He reads extensively, often with an eye toward long-term solutions for retirement and along the way he came across some information on Chiang Mai. As per www.sovereignman.com, "Thailand is a place where you can base yourself, your business AND your family...your family is safe and snug, enjoying a wonderful life in a warm place while you are traveling to meet clients". More specifically, "Chiang Mai in the north has become a major expat hub, with cool mountain air and a massive international community". Tell us more, we thought to ourselves. Sounds like a lovely place to retire. In the meantime, what will we ever do about the Shanghai problem?

But our interest was piqued. This past December we decided to take a leap and a look and spent 10 days in Chiang Mai to see how the real thing stacked up to such accolades. And we found it to be all that and more. So we made the list of pros and cons of moving sooner rather than later. It showed us that every challenge we will face living in Shanghai within the next 12 months, and they are significant, can be solved with a relocation. In the end, the only reasons for staying put were emotional: we don't want to leave our friends here. The good news is that from Shanghai, Thailand is an easily accessible and highly desireable vacation destination so hopefully our friends here will visit us there. I have come to think of it not as saying good bye to our Shanghai friends, but as giving them a new place to visit. With accomodations included! (Did I mention there is no winter in Thailand? More on that in a future post.)

And so we are poised for a brave step into our future:

In the words of the wise Grace Stroh Simon, “Thailand is a very daring place”. Off we go! 

Come join us. We'll be waiting for you!

แล้วพบกันเร็ว ๆ นี้  (See you soon!)

I am Carol Brady

Conrad has caught the basketball bug.

I had already found a program here in Shanghai and decided to sign him up for January when he started telling me that he really wanted to play. I suspect this is the influence of his cousin Zachary!
Practices started this past Sunday.

Dribbling and shooting drills with coach Chen

 

His first scrimage 

He's really enjoying it so we decided to make the investment and buy a backboard. (A run of nice weather and 2 unexpected extra weeks of Christmas vacation highly influenced that decision!)

Poor little mule has to do all the heavy lifting. I'm such a mean mommy!

Higher! Reach!

The hard work pays off. Let's play!

The phrase I use most now has changed from "Stop jumping on the couch!" to "Don't play ball in the house!" Maybe next I'll get my own sitcom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You may remember at Christmas last year we had a little fun with the "Happy Shoes" doughnuts at Dunkin Donuts. I think they are preparing for Valentine's Day. The DD in our local shopping center has now started selling gourmet chocolates. You can put 4 in this decorator box to give as a gift:

"You should let me love you live

you everything you want

and need Baby good love

and Protection"

And then you can fill it with the usual boring old chocolate creme filled, green tea flavored, or this little gem for 8 RMB (about $1.40) a piece.

And then again, maybe not.

'Baby good love and Protection' to you!

Meanwhile, on the Other Side of the World...

It is 7,351 miles from Dallas, Texas to Shanghai, China. In my 12 years living in Dallas, I did learn that yes, there are some things that are bigger in Texas: hair (although to be fair, it was the 90's), trucks, hats. Which came first? The Texas Tumbler or the 40 ounce glass with free refills of soda -sorry, I'm showing my northeastern roots, I mean "pop"- at lunch time? Certainly there is one things that countless lunches at LaHacienda on Preston Road in Frisco taught me: The salsa bowl should be Texas sized!

Today we checked out the new Peter's Tex-Mex in Jinqiao. There are a few other branches in other parts of town, so I figure they would know what they are doing by now. It was early in the day so we were the first ones there. We sat down and perused the menu. After finding something that the-children-who-only-eat-white-food would actually eat, we decided to order. Eventually the waitress brought our drinks and a bowl of chips. She reassured us that no, we did not need to order salsa separately, it would be provided shortly. Imagine our surprise when this arrived:

Wait, let's get a hand in there so we can see some scale. I was afraid the chip wasn't even going to fit in the bowl!

Hey Vivi, get your Barbie! The waitress just brought her a bowl of salsa! I wish I could have seen our faces when that thing arrived at the table. I think we scared the waitress. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself! 

I think it is safe to say  that Texas' title is safe: things may be cheaper in Shanghai but they certainly aren't very big! At least I got my Dr. Pepper fix.

Just for fun, we'll close with this one. I followed this woman around Carrefour for about 15 minutes before I was able to get this picture. I'm trying to imagine what was going through her head as she stood at the front door and grabbed her keys: "You know, my purple plaid bunny slippers actually match this purple coat. I think I'll leave them on when I go buy groceries."

 I'd lay big bucks she wasn't the only one in slippers in Carrefour that day. Only in China.

Happy New Year to you all~

Mother of Invention, the Christmas Episode

The other day Vivienne and I happened to catch an episode of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs. For some reason his task that day was to bake a pie. (I think it is safe to say they are running out of ideas for truly dirty jobs on that show...) Regardless of how dirty that task may have been for him, Vivienne has since been asking me "Mommy, when are you going to make a pie for me?" What better occasion than Christmas Eve dessert?

I pulled out my 1951 edition of Margaret Mitchell's Mealtime Magic Desserts and got to work. Having never before made pie crust from scratch I was a little nervous, but it turned out alright. I mixed it, I chilled it, I rolled it out only to discover that I no longer have a pie pan. Oy! Now what? Time to get my Martha Stewart on. I may not have a pie plate but I have a Christmas Tree pan!

I need to work on the oven temp next time but I think I may have started a new tradition! The kids aren't big fans of apple pie it turns out, but it's small enough that Heinz and I can share it over a few days without being complete gluttons! And yes, I think Santa is bringing hair cuts to all the children at our house this year...

From our house to yours, 

Merry Christmas 

and a very 

Happy New Year 

to you all!

A Christmas Tradition for Each Culture

Growing up with the last name Tortorelli from my full-blooded, second-generation Italian father, everyone immediately recognized my Italian heritage. Yet my mother, also second generation, is of full-blooded German ancestry. Since Heinz grew up in and is a citizen of Switzerland, everyone immediately recognizes his Swiss side. However, the reality is that his father, born and raised in Germany, moved to Switzerland in his early 20's. In those days, ancestry was still only traced through the father, so the boys were automatically German citizens, even though they were born in Switzerland. Heinz remembers when he, his Dad and his brother all petitioned for and received their Swiss citizenship. Also in those days dual citizenship was not recognized so they all had to forfeit their German citizenship. 

To recap, I am half Italian, half German. Heinz is half Swiss, half German. Doing the math (come on, fractions aren't that hard!) that makes our children more German than anything else, and German on both sides of their lineage. Personally, I am really enjoying the opportunity to get more in touch with our shared German ancestry through the kids' German education. Learning about the holiday traditions is my favorite part and my favorite holiday of all is Christmas! This year we can celebrate so many aspects of the holiday as we explore the layers of our family's heritage. With Christmas of course comes Santa Claus, and all his cultural and religious variations, based on which history you choose to adopt.

An over-simplification taken from Google:

Saint Nicholas, also called Nikolaos of Myra, was a historic 4th-century saint and Greek Bishop of Myra (Demre, part of modern-day Turkey) in Lycia. Because of the many miracles attributed to his intercession, he is also known as Nikolaos the Wonderworker. He had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out for him, and thus became the model for Santa Claus, whose modern name comes from the Dutch Sinterklaas, itself from a series of elisions and corruptions of the transliteration of "Saint Nikolaos".

Saint Nicholas day in the German Speaking countries:

In Northern Germany, Sankt Nikolaus is usually celebrated on a small scale. Many children put a boot called Nikolaus-Stiefel (Nikolaus boot) outside the front door on the night of 5 December. St. Nicholas fills the boot with gifts and sweets overnight, and at the same time checks up on the children to see if they were good, polite and helpful the last year. If they were not, they will have a tree branch (Rute) in their boots instead. {This branch was meant as a switch, to beat you with if you have been bad. My friend Miia, who grew up in Germany says she remembers this happening to her sister (the branch but not the beating). She says she is still disturbed by her parents decision to do that!} Sometimes a Nikolaus impersonator also visits the children at school or in their homes and asks them if they have been good (sometimes ostensibly checking his golden book for their record), handing out presents on the basis of their behavior. This has become more lenient in recent decades, and this task is often taken over by the Weihnachtsmann (Father Christmas). In more catholic regions, Nikolaus is dressed very much like a bishop and rides on a horse, welcomed at public places by a large crowd. Typical in Germany for Saint Nicholas Day is the Stutenkerl, a pastry made of sweet leavened dough.

In Swiss folklore, the Christmas gift-bringer is known as Samichlaus (like Dutch Sinterklaas a corruption of the name of St. Nicholas). The Swiss version of the scary companion of St. Nicholas corresponding to the Austrian Krampus and the German Knecht Ruprecht is known as Schmutzli. 

The companions of Saint Nicholas are a group of closely related figures who accompany St. Nicholas in German-speaking Europe and more widely throughout the territories formerly in the Holy Roman Empire. These characters act as a foil to the benevolent Christmas gift-bringer, threatening to thrash or abduct disobedient children. Jacob Grimm (Deutsche Mythologie) associated this character with the pre-Christian house spirit (kobold, elf) which could be benevolent or malicious, but whose mischiveous side was emphasized after Christianization. The association of the Christmas gift-bringer with elves has parallels in English and Scandinavian folklore, and is ultimately and remotely connected to the modern Christmas elf in American folklore.

Heinz remembers remembers being told as a child that the Schmutzli would shove those who did not behave into their brown burlap sack. According to his Mom, when she was young one particularly badly behaved neighbor boy was actually stuffed into a sack in an effort to scare him into behaving! No word on whether it worked! (or whether it simply scarred him for life...)

The Swiss Club of Shanghai has a lovely Christmas party every year. We attended last year and were really looking forward to going again this year, the weekend before St. Nicholas Day. Samichlaus and his Schmutzli arrived on time and all the children were invited to gather round while he checked their names in his book. 

 As we walked with Conrad and Vivi into the adjacent room set up for the kids to meet with him, Conrad saw the ominously dressed Schmutzli in his hooded brown tunic and tugged on my sleeve. He whispered in my ear “Mom! I don’t want to get shoved in the sack!!”

Samichlaus opened his book and had two comments to make to each of the children: admonishing them for one weakness and then congratulating them on one thing they are doing well. Amazingly the Samichlaus who visits the Swiss Club of Shanghai every year speaks German and Swiss German, French, English and Chinese, seamlessly! This year he spoke to Conrad and Vivienne in German. Then they were brave enough to take their gifts from the Schmutzli.

 “Daddy, we didn’t get shoved in the sack!”

This year, Saint Nicholas Day is on a Thursday. Wednesday we attended our regular weekly German playgroup and reviewed what typically happens and how most Germans celebrate. We were well prepared to participate in our own home. The kids each put a boot out before going to bed Wednesday evening, their own Nikolaus-Stiefel for St. Nick to fill. What fun to check them the next morning and see what he brought!

It was quite cold but they got some neat things! We spoke to Grammy later that day and she told the kids that she always got an orange in her shoe for St. Nicholas' Day, too! I expect she told my sisters and I that at some point but I had forgotten it. Fun to relearn so much about my Mom's childhood as well.  

So far the kids have not asked me why they get to see Santa Claus so often. I'm not quite sure how I'll respond if they do! We've tossed around the idea that he visits Germany on the 6th and America on the 25th because the world really is just too big for him to get to everyone in one night. But apparently he has enough time on his hands to visit China on both nights! Not sure yet how to explain that one away. Fingers crossed that they don't notice that detail!

I'm really not sure who is having more fun this year, me or the kids! Did you celebrate St. Nikolaus Day this year?
Did he bring you an orange or a root?

Hope you are all enjoying what the season has to offer~

'Tis the Season...

Usually I wait until pretty close to Christmas to decorate the tree, as that was the tradition in our house when I was growing up. (When we were really little my parents would put the tree in the stand on Christmas Eve and decorate it after we had gone to bed so when we got up on Christmas morning it was as if Santa had decorated it for us!) But this year we will actually be away for much of December, returning right before Christmas so we decided to decorate early so that we can enjoy the tree some before we go away. 

The kids had a lot of fun putting the ornaments on and did such a nice job. Conrad felt like a really big boy this year as he was allowed to climb the ladder and put ornaments on the upper part of the tree!

My OCD tendencies aside, I barely had to move any of the ornaments around to balance it all out. Truly, they did a nice job of evenly covering the branches. (Maybe they've inherited Mommy's eye for spatial relationships!)

Boys and trains...a quintessential Christmas combination! When Conrad was little a friend of mine recommended to put a train around the tree as the kids, especially boys, tend to play with the train and leave the tree alone. He still loves the train! (Now we just need to keep the dog away from the tree!)

Conrad was upset that we only had white lights on the tree. It's all I've ever had, either American or Chinese lights because that's my preference and, well, I'm the Mommy. Today  I bought him a set of colored lights and we strung them on the "other" tree in the room. He is happy now!

We're ready for Christmas. What color lights will you use?

We wish you all a joyous start to the Season. Happy Decorating!

All our love~

Buzzy Bee for Christmas

(Time for something a little more lighthearted after that last post...)

Life in Shanghai with 2 small children at home, as I may have mentioned once or twice (or 50 times), is a real challenge. Mining resources in a foreign country is never easy but with nearly every child over the age of 2 enrolled in school, resources for entertaining your little ones if you are outside of the conventional school system are very difficult to come by. Luckily for me I have come to know some pretty amazing women who have stepped forward to help fill the vacuum. Sarah, a teacher, and Miia, a graphic designer, both with children Vivienne's age, are the brains behind the recently unveiled Buzzy Bee box and we couldn't wait to get into ours after we picked it up today.

Thanksgiving has passed and we have begun to allow ourselves to look towards Christmas, the theme for this first box from Buzzy Bee. Each box will have 3 or 4 crafts, a book, some songs and a game surrounding a relevant theme; seven or eight activities in all. First we read "The Snowman", by Raymond Briggs. Then we sang Frosty the Snowman. And then sang it again. And again. (Once more for good measure?) We practiced some subtraction by reciting the poem "Five Little Snowmen Standing in a Line". Then we eagerly dug in to choose a craft. Conrad wanted to do the Christmas tree.

We donned our introductory gift aprons and started skewering foam balls on toothpicks and painting.


As they were drying we sprinkled them with magic golden fairy dust.

 We cut out the golden star for the top.

And we put it all together. 

Our first Christmas decorations of the year! We can't wait to do another project tomorrow. Thank you Miia and Sarah!!

A big hug to you as we begin the Christmas Season. Missing you all~