Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

love, Vivienne and Conrad






Thursday, October 29, 2009

Should I brave a Malaysian Salon?

The other day I said to my husband that if we had moved here on a more permanent basis I would chop off all of my hair. It is just too hot and humid here to deal with it. That being said I have not had my hair cut since before Viv was born. It desperately needs cutting and I have toyed with the idea of going to a salon here and taking a chance. Well, there is one on the ground floor of our building and last night Heinz and I were looking at their sign.

Code 6, is their name and they advertise "We are specialize in:" (followed by the usual list of services, no further grammatical misadventures). At the bottom of the sign it states "with appointment no disappointment". Okay, I can't argue with that but what really caught my eye and really tweaked that "Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore" surreality was this: they have the awards they have won listed on their sign, not so strange, but their awards for 2007 gave me pause. Code Six was the Malaysia Hair Association's Overall Senior Grand Champion, no problem with that although it does make them sound like a show horse at the fair, but they were also the 2007 "Fantasy Open Fire Theme Winner".



I don't even know where to go with that. Although I know you are probably also conjuring images of flaming heads... So I googled it. And it gets better. I found this:

The Malaysian Hairdressing Association offers the following among their Competition Categories:
Fantasy Professional - Animal Kingdom (Open)
Fantasy Hairstyle on a female / male model
The expanse of fire theme will allow contestants to draw imagination conclusions on their idea of the mysterious cosmic fire and translate it into their hairstyling.


"mysterious cosmic fire". Maybe some things just don't translate between languages, even if they can be translated into hairstyles. I think I will wait until I get home to get my hair cut...
So my question to you today is this: does the phrase “gelatinous fish balls” entice you to the table? Yeah, me neither. I see that description on menus and on items in the frozen food section, and even in the fresh fish section and I have to say that it goes on my “list of things I will likely not be trying while I am here,” along with the sugar coated dried cuttlefish that I have seen in the bulk food section of my favorite grocery store. I used to think of myself as a fairly adventurous eater. These days I feel like one of those meat and potato people. (Staci and James read: “meat, bread and cheese”!) I guess I’m a little disappointed in the food that I’ve had. And a little wary – I do see tripe on the menus… One thing is that they use the whole chicken. Which means there are lots and lots of bones; even the little spine-looking tiny ones. I have gotten a dish that appeared to have about 8 ounces of chicken on it, only to have ended up with about 2 ounces, once I picked out all of the bones (using my spoon and fork to tear my food apart; that is the common practice: one is rarely provided with a knife). It calls to mind that old Wendy’s commercial: parts is parts. Last Friday we decided to get something to eat from a vendor who sets up his cart out front of our building every night. Heinz had to make a phone call so I strapped Vivi in the chest pack, put Conrad in the stroller and headed down to check it out by myself. We thought it was a Satay vendor because everything he sells is on skewers. Well, I walked up to it and realized that I did not recognize a single thing on the truck. It was an interesting set-up and if someone else had not come along and given me the opportunity to watch how it’s done, I never would have figured it out. (And the vendor, on his cell phone the entire time, didn't seem inclined to help me out) On each of the 3 sides of the truck/cart is a boiling pot of water and one chooses their items and cooks them one’s self. Basically the guy only takes your money, a fee per skewer. There appeared to be an awful lot of raw fish on sticks, lots of different colored filets (and probably not enough ice for my Western sensibility on a hot night…) things that looked like the “parts” mentioned earlier, what I would have described as chicken innards, and what I would imagine a gelatinous fish ball to be if put on a skewer. I asked the guy for chicken and he showed me a few mini hot dogs on sticks. I felt like a complete rube: a truck piled high with food, probably 50 different choices and all I felt comfortable going home with was these mini hot dogs! Oh well, maybe if I had a local with me who could indoctrinate me, I might be more daring at the end of a long week. But I truly would not have guessed that there could be so much food in one place that I would look at and think “I have never seen that before. At least not in its raw state.” But as a whole I’ve been disappointed by the flavors. There are so many Indian, Thai and Ethiopian dishes that are so flavorful, the combinations of spices so awesome, making me think “I could eat this until I explode, it’s that good”, and I guess I naively hoped that I would find that here. Not yet, but I’ll keep trying. In the meantime, we did find a milk that Conrad will drink (thanks to the Aussie cows). And the choice of chocolate cookies is dizzying….

Fun cultural fact #?: the Malay word for water is literally “air”, although it is pronounced ay-ear. I just find that bizarre. For all of the English words that they use directly and all of the words that they use and spell phonetically, (“wayarless” for wireless, “epal” for apple) could they not have used a less confusing word for such a critical item? Although I do have to constantly be grateful for the scope of English used. It can make my everyday life so much easier.

The rainy season seems to have arrived. It rains for at least an hour every afternoon. The other day the kids and I went to KFC for lunch (it has an outdoor play structure, need I say more?) and it started raining before I could gather us up to head back home. That was not fun! I just need to get better about carrying an umbrella everywhere I go so I don’t get stranded places, I guess.

This weekend we are planning a trip back down onto the coast to visit Melaka, a town on the straits, recommended by one of Heinz’s co-workers. It looks very interesting and I’m pretty excited about it. Weekend before last we went to Port Dickson, another town on the straits and stayed at a resort that has the water chalets on stilts. For those of you who have not yet seen the pics, here is a link if you are interested (FYI there are pictures in addition to the ones on Facebook):

http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=b22ae54aab8782c2&sid=0IZtXDVq0ZMXpA

We had a really nice time, it was a lovely resort, and I had some very interesting exchanges with people regarding the kids. As I have mentioned, people seem really taken with Vivi, especially. We had a cold drink at the restaurant the first afternoon and the maitre d’ came over to talk to me, asking how old she was. I said 6 ½ months and he said “I have a little boy, same age but she’s…umm… a lot bigger than he is.” So are you telling me my kid’s fat? The next morning we were at breakfast and he was there again and she started to fuss while sitting in the stroller so he comes over and says very emphatically “She is tired”. I said, picking her up, “actually I think she’s just bored and wants to see what’s going on around her” so he says “Oh” and reaches over, takes her out of my arms (without even the “May I?” nod I might have expected) and walks around the restaurant with her, trying to hand her off to a few of the waitresses. It was very bizarre. Later we were out by the pool and I changed her diaper on one of the lounge chairs and a few young girls stopped by to ooh and ahh at her and they said “oh, she’s so cute! But she’s so fat!” as they rubbed her tummy. And now you ARE telling me straight out! One says to me, as Vivi is laying there in her diaper and it is about 88 degrees in the shade, “isn’t she cold?” I can imagine the “Are you nuts?” face I must have made. Then her mother, or an older woman that she was with, came over, did the May I nod and when I said alright (how can one not?) she picks Viv up and walks over to her group of people and the women there were all passing her around. They just stood there, talking amongst themselves, handing her to each other. We had ordered lunch and at that point the waiter came over to tell us our table was ready and I had to go over to them and take her back and they kind of looked at me as if to say “You’re interrupting.” It’s very bizarre to me but I felt the need to apologize to them and explain to them we were moving into the restaurant. I guess boundaries and their observance, or non-observance as it may be, is the stuff that cultural clashes are made of. I did have a few creepy exchanges with strangers regarding Conrad when we were fairly newly arrived. One time we were going into the little pharmacy/convenience store downstairs and he and I were sort of tripping over each other as we tried to get in the door with the stroller (anyone in a wheelchair in this country is just screwed: every shop or restaurant entrance is up a step, not to mention the horrible condition of the sidewalks) and this woman who had been sitting at outdoor seating for one of the nearby restaurants swooped in, is the only way I can describe it, and grabbed Conrad’s arms and started pulling on him saying “You come play with me. You come play with me while your Mom shops.” It really rattled Conrad and I think you can imagine what it did to me! I keep telling myself that she probably just thought she was being helpful, she could see that I really had my hands full, but in what culture do strangers actually take children away from their parents like that? It completely creeped me out! But then on the flip side we have the young guy in the elevator who flirts with Viv and says how pretty she is, and the waiter who chucks her cheeks every time he comes to check on us. She has 3 teeth and is cruising with the commando crawl. It’s hard to believe but we are at the halfway point of our first segment here: 5 weeks down, 5 to go. We’re actually feeling pressured to get in all of the travelling and sight seeing we want to do! I wonder if the second segment will seem to go as quickly?

We hope you are all well and that you all have a safe and Happy Halloween. One of the malls near where we live has some festivities and I think I might check them out for the kids. It’s Viv’s first Halloween and she has the cutest shirt from her Grammy; how can we not go?

Now that I’ve finally got the blog set up I hope you will check back with us regularly. I will probably write more often, and not such long letters!

Be well and keep in touch. There is nothing like an e-mail from a friend when you are far away! Hugs and love~ Jackie

Monday, October 5, 2009

(Written October 1, 2009)
Hi everyone!
Well, we are working on our fifth day and I think I am starting to make some progress on adjusting to the time change. It was a 28 hour journey from door to door. We left our house in Indy Tuesday at 8 am and arrived here at midnight on Wednesday, local time, which is the equivalent of noon Wednesday, Indy time. The trip went pretty well. (As well as a 28 hour journey can!) Conrad did well, considering he was confined to the same 6 square feet for a day and a half! And we had no time between flights for him to run around in the terminals, either. Thank God for those little personal movie screens! He really only had one major meltdown, as we landed on the third leg he wanted to sit on my lap and of course can't now that he is an "I have my own seat" big boy. But really, as exhausted as I was going through it, trying to constantly engage him in books or coloring, something quiet that he could do in one place, was wearing but in retrospect it certainly could have been a lot worse! And Vivienne was great; on the really long flights (13 hours in the air to Seoul, 6 more into KL) we had the bassinet seats at the bulkhead and she slept a lot. The most interesting part, and it has continued on as we get settled here, was seeing the Asians wanting to interact with the kids. My impression of Asians has always been that they are quite reserved but on the planes so many went out of their way to get the kids' attention and play with them. On the flight into Seoul, across the aisle and ahead one row was a grandfatherly Asian man who was so taken with Viv. He kept wanting to reach for her hands and was making faces at her and smiling at her throughout the flight. On the flight into KL, there were 2 girls literally across the plane that were continually playing with Conrad and Vivi from afar, one holding up a Teddy bear and making it dance, the other using her ladybug neck pillow to try and make the 2 laugh. And the man right behind me, dressed as a business traveler, was very sweet playing with Conrad when he was on my lap. I like to think that it was a good omen for our stay here and during my more grace-less, shall we say, moments of the transition, I need to try and remember that!

So we arrived at midnight local time. Conrad had slept quite a bit on the planes, which is good and bad. Good for the moment but when we arrived he was pretty much ready to go! So we spent about 2 hours settling in, unpacking and then he seemed to realize that it was dark, and I think the excitement started to catch up with him. I will admit that at that point I gave him half of a dramamine tablet, hoping that maybe it would help him sleep far enough into the morning. And that was the only time during the journey that I tried the "better living through chemistry" approach! (Dramamine does not have the "may cause excitability in children" disclaimer so I chose it over the Benadryl!) It worked to a degree I think because we all slept into daylight, about 7:30 that morning.

Day one was fairly tame. Heinz did not have to work. We spent some time that morning organizing and then headed out to get something to eat, do some grocery shopping and get an introduction to KL. Driving in KL is very, um, interesting. They drive on the left hand side, first of all, but there is often no direct way to get anywhere. For instance, leaving our complex (and most places) you must turn left and travel with the oncoming traffic. If you needed to go straight or right, you have to drive to a u-turn lane, of which there are few, or travel around at least one block, assuming the many one-way streets are in the direction you are going. And there is virtually no such thing as a map. Many of the streets have the same name, at least sometimes they will number them for you. Heinz and I have joked that we don't even think a GPS would be helpful in the car because with everything having the same street name, would it actually work? I am very intimidated by the prospect of driving, more because of the chaos of the street organization than for the fact of being on the other side of the road. We shall see. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I get up the guts! So we went to a nearby mall that has 2 grocery stores and the malls are enormous. We had a shopping cart full of groceries, an overstimulated 2 year old and we got lost trying to find our way back to the right part of the parking garage. We alternately laughed about it and cussed about it. (I have to say, I had been really proud of the fact that I never swear within earshot of Conrad now that he is talking but lately with my resistance low, he's picked up a few choice words...lovely) So we got back to the condo and had a little time to relax before we had to run by Heinz's office and drop off some paperwork for him. I finally got to meet the people he's been talking about for months and to see his office, which was fun. Then we came home and went swimming. Surprisingly Conrad had not taken a nap and was still running full speed ahead (Meanwhile Heinz and I were dragging!) but he finally fell asleep as we were going downstairs to dinner. We just ate at a little place on the ground floor of our building, came back upstairs and all of us crashed.

Day two started very early. Conrad was awake shortly after 4. Which woke Vivi up as they are in the same room. I think he finally hit the wall because he threw up, poor bunny. So we spent the next couple of hours on the couch (A blessing and a curse: Our cable company offers Nickelodeon; apparently you can get SpongeBob Squarepants anywhere in the world now!) and he got sick a few more times. Being up that early I got to hear the morning Call to Prayer for the first time. It's an interesting sound, pretty in its musical quality but I have to say that above all I find it a bit creepy, how it finds its way into my home even on the 22nd floor. I guess it's really no different than hearing churchbells but there is just something about the human voice having that power to travel with such strength, and really it sort of takes over the whole City for those few moments, that seems unnatural to me. I have not noticed it any other time of day, maybe it's just that the city is so much more quiet at dawn that it travels more clearly.
Fun cultural fact (or supreme annoyance depending on my mood and level of sleep deprivation) #1: as a rule, the Malay do not have hot water in their kitchens. The landlord cited something about the nature of the humid weather as the reason for this but I just do not understand how anyone can wash a greasy pot with tepid water, regardless of the weather! (Not to mention that our very modern high rise apartment has air conditioning...it's not as if we are living in the jungle!) So I have either just washed dishes in the bathroom sink or boiled water in the kitchen. That could get really old, really fast! I guess it's one more good reason to eat out and not have to cook (the first being the availabilty of cheap, great ethnic food everywhere)! Heinz had to go to work so I spent the day cleaning. The floors were filthy; within 15 minutes of arriving Conrad's hands and knees were black.
Fun cultural fact #2: the Indian culture is quite pervasive here, and as some of you may know, the Indians do not use toilet paper but use their left hands to clean themselves after a visit to the toilet. (Never touch an Indian with your left hand...) Their modern version of hygiene is that all toilets, even the scary public ones at the nearby park, have a little hand held shower wand that one can use for cleaning one's backside. I call it the microphone and you will see why when you look at the pictures. There is one at each of our toilets (we have 4 in the condo: 3 full baths (including a non-air-conditioned one for the "maid's" quarters, which includes a 6x9 non-air-conditioned sleeping space) and a powder room off the living room.) But the beauty of this is that each bathroom has a floor drain, as does the kitchen which makes cleaning floors really easy! You can literally just swab the deck and push it down the drain! Now that I can get used to! The downside is that the kitchen is about 2 inches lower than the living room and I have nearly broken every one of my toes as I stub them on my way out. Luckily we just happened to have packed red duct tape (meant for use securing our ancient huge suitcase, just in case...) so I have put it at the threshold in an effort to save my feet.
After about 10am Conrad seemed to be fine. Heinz came home for lunch and we just ate at a local little place around the corner. When he got home that evening we just stayed home and crashed. Although Conrad was still running strong at 9 pm and it was all I could do to get him to bed. He seems able to function these days on about 8 hours sleep total. Mom, not so much...

Day 3 Conrad was up before 5 again. And woke Vivi up. I tried to keep him busy at least until dawn and we went to the pool fairly early. Based on my stroke count I estimate it to be pretty close to a 25 yard pool which is great for me. I got a pretty good swim in and Conrad and Daddy had some fun too. Then we went to another Mall nearby to stock up on some more odds and ends for every day living. I was sure that I would not be surprised by the westernization that I would find but one thing just really cracks me up. They have Pringles, which is great because Heinz loves the BBQ but the other flavors are quite interesting: Soft-shelled crab, Grilled shrimp and Seaweed. I can't remember if I saw Sour Cream and Onion, I was too horrified by the others. I will try many things but Seaweed Pringles are not likely on my list. That afternoon we were going to try and attend an open-house that one of Heinz's co-workers was having. I think it was in honor of his daughter's 16th birthday. It probably would have been a lot of fun and very interesting (did I mention they are Indian? Heinz emphatically reminded me to watch my left hand...) but it was an hour away and we were going to follow someone else out there but we got separated shortly into the drive and decided it might be best to just call it a day. So instead we went and had really cheap, really good Sushi and I think it's best that we did because we crashed pretty early. Well, everybody but Conrad. He had barely had a 45 minute nap all day but was still fighting not to go to bed at 9, after waking up at 5:15. If only I had that energy...

Day 4 started with Conrad up at about 5:20. The good news is he is getting up a little later each day. Maybe within a week he will be sleeping at least until 7. I am hoping I can get a swim in most mornings before Heinz goes to work so hopefully we can get on a morning schedule fairly quickly. He and I went to the pool fairly early and the day before we had bought him a little tricycle so he and I spent a lot of the day riding it around the common areas of the building. It's pretty much shut down on Sundays. There is a Catholic Church not too far away, but not walking distance so I do hope to find out more about the schedule and how to get there soon. (We can see it from the highway but seeing something doesn't always mean it is easy to get to it by car...) There is a lot of green space around our building, many parks; Heinz chose very carefully when he was house-hunting so around lunchtime we all took a walk to the larger, farther away park to check it out. It's quite nice. It has one of those fitness courses where you move from station to station and do the exerecise indicated on the posted sign. And it has pretty extensive walking trails and even a large play structure for kids. But since it was midday the slides and all were too hot to use, but more importantly it was fairly overrun by monkeys. Unfortunately we didn't have the camera with us then. They are all pretty small, not much more than about 10-20 pounds, (not big enough to carry my children off...) about the size of cats but they were pulling all of the garbage out of the cans and just generally being obnoxious. Conrad wanted to play with them and before I could grab him he had run off toward them but a large one started to run back at him, hissing and growling. So that stopped Conrad in his tracks and we had a long talk about how they are mean monkeys. So he doesn't seem to want to play with them so much now, thankfully. I can just imagine the nightmare of him getting bitten by one! After the park we walked home and had lunch at a nice Italian place in the blocks around our house. There are mostly restaurants in the ground floor retail spaces in our neighborhood. Many are open air "Food courts" with small vendors and picnic style tables. The aromas emanating from each will probably dictate for me which I would chose and which I would avoid. (There is a restaurant near one of the main department stores that has a smell so off-putting to me that I could not imagine in my wildest dreams eating anything from there!) But for the days that I am desperate for something familiar, there is a Pizza Hut, a Popeyes and a Kenny Roger's Roasters all within walking distance. (Heinz and I laughed that it's alright to eat from those places, we just won't admit it to anyone back home!) Although the 7-11 here does not have the same fare as one back home. The biggest problem so far from a dietary standpoint is that Conrad does not like the milk. If I had to describe it I would say it seems more like goat's milk than cow's milk. It's darker, and all the brands that we have tried so far smell as if they are on the verge of turning bad. The good news is that we have found many yogurt types that he likes. I will have to watch his calcium intake carefully. Mine too, as I don't like the milk either and don't want my morning cereal as a result. Although the grocery stores have many western cereals including my All-Bran! So seemingly random, the things I can and can't find in the stores.

Day 5, conrad was up this morning by about 6:15. We bounced around the condo for the morning and then shortly after Heinz left for work we headed out to check out the nearby park. Turns out our neighbors are a Brit and an Australian, and they have a 2 1/2 year old boy. I'm excited about that! Before coming over I had written to a number of the local ex-pat groups, the American, British and Canadian groups, even the local Masters Swimming group, all hoping to make some social connections and never heard back from any of them. So I think it will be nice to have some English-speaking people so close by, especially ones with kids the same age. We met in passing this morning but hopefully we can get to know each other better in the coming days. They seem very nice. There is a Norwegian couple across the hall. They both seem to speak english very well. Lots of ex-pats in the building it seems. Or perhaps lots of ex-pats in Malaysia as a whole! Leaves me feeling a little less isolated. So generally I'm settling in and feeling more at ease with it all. Our place is really neat (Aside from the no-hot water in the kitchen thing...) Although bringing groceries up from the car is one of those trade-offs for highrise living. We have some great views, we can see the Petronas Towers on the skyline, and I am excited to get to know the City better. We haven't yet gone downtown but there will be time for that. The weather is fairly moderate, upper 70's at night, mid to high 80's in the day but with fairly high humidity. I think it stays that way until the rains start in November. I don't know what to expect after that, but I think it always rains at the same time of day so it's not too disruptive.

So I'll try to wrap this up here as this is getting way longer than I intended and the longer it gets, the longer it is for me to finish it. We miss you all! And invite anyone and everyone with at least 3-days worth of travel time on their hands to come visit us! Remember, we will be here in what is, for most of you, the dead of winter!

Our hugs and all our love from halfway around the world~ Jackie, Heinz, Conrad and Vivi

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